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Home arrow News & Commentary arrow Stolen bark and beer
Stolen bark and beer PDF Print E-mail
Written by ch   
Thursday, 22 May 2008

Crimes by Zip

29201
Housing foreclosures are on the rise nationwide and even Adbusters magazine is predicting the newly homeless may find themselves sleeping in freight containers instead of out in the street. In Columbia, cops bust a 40-year-old homeless man for sleeping inside a vacant residence just this week; 1000 block Harden Street.

29212
Want to get drunk but don’t have money for the booze? Throw on a white shirt and pair of blue shorts and stroll into the store, put six cases of Bud Light into your shopping cart and just roll it on out of there without paying. That’s what a man in his 20s dressed just accordingly did recently anyway. He got away with it, too, saving him $101 to blow on a nosebag; 150 block Harbison Blvd.


29203
During a cat fight between two girls, one 17 and the other 26, the younger chica made up for the age difference by clenching a rock in her fist and knocking the front tooth out of the girl she was fighting. Oh yeah, and we’ve watched that DVD “Brawlin’ Broads” before and you KNOW some of those chicks are from South Carolina; Columbia.

29201
Imagine you’re a cop on patrol and you see a car sitting at a stoplight. The light turns green, then red, then green, then red, then green again and the car doesn’t move an inch. What would you think? Well, the officer was right when he walked up to the can and found the 23-year-old motorist passed out drunk behind the steering wheel. And no, unfortunately it wasn’t an SCRG-endorsed candidate for the State House this time; 1000 block Beltline Blvd.

29201
It’s 4:20 on a Saturday morning when several gun shots punctuate the pre-dawn quiet outside a Columbia apartment complex. Cops arriving to scene find seven 45-caliber shell casings scattered about the ground and witnesses say that shortly after the shots were fired, a car spun of the neighborhood, drive-by style. That’s one way to drive the property value down even lower; 300 block Catawba Circle.

29205
Three college-aged kids decided to make Ocean’s 14 in Five Points last week when they participated in the grand heist of a single tree owned by the city of Columbia valued at $500. A 32-year-old man watching the thieves of leaves called the cops who apprehended the criminals and charged them each with ‘malicious injury to city property’. In fact, after a formal investigation, the police department concluded the tree was ripped out of the “tree zone” on the north side of the 2000 block of Devine Street.

29201
Cops say they nabbed a 38-year-old homeless man “digging through property” and when they tried to arrest him he flipped the fuck out. Not able to adequately subdue the five-foot-nine, 195-pound man and place him in handcuffs, an officer sprayed him in the face with pepper spray, which did absolutely nothing. The man fought back hard, breaking one officer’s radio microphone and tearing the pants of another’s before he was finally taken down hard by another caustic blast from the officers’ spray can straight to the face; 2200 block Devine Street.

29204
In response to community complaints about prostitution, the Columbia Police Department sent some undercover officers to see if they could score some poon for cash money. Now that’s a job I wouldn’t mind having. After one 29-year-old, brown-eyed Columbia cock-teaser promised oral and vaginal sex to an officer for $20, the copper took her to a secluded area and videotaped himself busting her. No, not busting ON her, just arresting her on camera to make sure it was all kosher; 1100 block Tree Street.

29209
A 37-year-old man is walking down the sidewalk just before midnight when a car pulls up and a man jumps out, pointing an assault rifle at his face. “Give it up!” the gunman yells, to which the terrified man says he doesn’t have any money. “You think I’m playing?” the gunman says, and punches him in the face with his left hand. The man pulls $5 out of his pocket and the gunman snatches it before leaping back in his getaway car and driving away; 2200 block Santee Ave.

29201
Housing foreclosures are on the rise nationwide and even Adbusters magazine is predicting the newly homeless may find themselves sleeping in freight containers instead of out in the street. In Columbia, cops bust a 40-year-old homeless man for sleeping inside a vacant residence just this week; 1000 block Harden Street.

29210
Police officers responding to a “suspicious person” complaint find a 36-year-old man weaving back and forth on a bicycle – and there’s a good reason for that: he’s piss drunk. The man, a white guy, didn’t take too kindly to being arrested and yelled and screamed racial slurs and profanity at the cops as they took him down; 1400 block Colonial Life Blvd.

29212
According to employees of Starbucks, a man in his 30s came into the store and looked at coffee makers, saying he wanted to buy one for his mom for Mother’s Day. The man looked around the shop, found one he wanted, valued at $1,500, and then just hauled ass out of there while the folks at the check-out counter were distracted. Bet mom’s wicked proud of THAT; 300 block Harbison Blvd.

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Dick Ubeenyankin  - 29201   |2008-05-22 10:42:11
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A reporters husband tried to kill a dude at three in the morning at
locals.
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