29209
A 37-year-old man hears noises coming from his backyard and when he goes to look he finds two men waltzing across his lawn and carrying his washing machine. The man hollers and the two laundry larcenists drop the Maytag and take off toward a white pickup truck; 4700 block Oxford Road.

29201
Members of the police force are called when witnesses notice seven puppies have been left in the trunk of a car for over an hour with no food or water in the hot sun. The officers say the animals looked “distressed” and the temperature was over 90 degrees; 1300 block Taylor Street.
  29206
Steak out: Cops are on the lookout for a 34-year-old man missing from Richland County jurisdiction and catch him when a Columbia grocery store clerk calls in a complaint of a man stuffing $80 worth of meat down his pants; 5400 block Forest Drive.

29203
An officer turns on his blue lights after seeing a 29-year-old motorist not wearing a seat belt, but the driver doesn’t pull over for about a quarter of a mile, forcing the cop to use the PA system to demand he stop. Finally the driver cuts the engine in the middle of the road, gets out, and screams at the cop, “What the fuck are you pulling me over for?” Sure enough, that gets him arrested. The officer does note, however, that while in the patrol car on the way to jail, the dude did say, “I’m sorry for doing that, man;” 3500 block West Beltline Blvd.

29201
Cops roll up on a 47-year-old homeless guy and tell him to stand up. He doesn’t. Cops say he’s drunk. They ask him again to stand and the man tries but the booze is screwing with his internal compass. When the officer tries to cuff him, the man resists, forcing the cop to take him to the ground with a “straight arm bar take down.” He still resists and the cop lets loose with a hard blast of oleoresin capsicum – pepper spray – straight to the face. With a mug full of mace, the hobo runs out into the street and the cop again employs the famous straight arm bar takedown. After being cleared my medics, the man is hauled off to the slammer; 2000 block Marion Street.

29205
A 39-year-old man who says he lives in “Squirrel Hollow,” Lexington, is found by police slumped over the steering wheel of his late ‘80s Nissan at 5 in the morning. Turns out he’s drunk and, he tells the cops, he’s been smoking marijuana. Sounds like Squirrel Hollow is the place to be; 2100 block Green Street.

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