We are not sure if this zip is about our new sales guy:

"When the officer gets the 21-year-old out of the vehicle, the guy almost goes and strikes himself out by admitting to downing five beers before getting behind the wheel and waiving his Miranda rights, but he gets another chance by passing the sobriety test. I guess, for this lucky lush, honesty is the best policy; he escapes a DUI and gets a reckless driving charge instead."

But for all those with alcohol problems the AA schedule is here

29203
A 25-year-old University of South Carolina police sergeant and Dept. of Public Safety worker says her residence was broken into and her weapons, among other items, stolen. Missing are an HK 357 handgun with two magazines, pepper spray, an X-26 Taser (all duty equipment), a Playstation 3 with eight games, and jewelry. The robber or robbers busted out a back glass window or door to get in and went through every room of the house, according to police.; 1400 block Kinderway Ave.

29230
Cops on patrol are watching this car totally blow a stop sign and think they’d better pull the driver over. But before they can even turn on the lights, the driver jumps the curb and slams into the cop car. Bad move, but that’s not the half of it. Any guess as to what this motorist’s problem was? It starts with “B” and rhymes with “lose.” Yeah, strike two. When the officer gets the 21-year-old out of the vehicle, the guy almost goes and strikes himself out by admitting to downing five beers before getting behind the wheel and waiving his Miranda rights, but he gets another chance by passing the sobriety test. I guess, for this lucky lush, honesty is the best policy; he escapes a DUI and gets a reckless driving charge instead. Call it an in-the-park home run; 1100 block Columbia Ave.

29205
A 36-year-old woman tells cops that her redneck common-law husband whooped the shit out of her after an argument and wrapped both his hands around her neck, throttling her like a goose. The man, 43, probably just saw the new Bat Man movie and was just trying to be like Heith Ledger, but because he’s a redneck and couldn’t understand those damn Northern accents, he mistook the character the whole time as “The Choker.” Yeah, that’s a stretch; Columbia.

29203
A 24-year-old lady and her boyfriend are arguing when the dude “goes all Jerry Springer,” as they say in the trailer park, and slaps the shit out of her. The woman tries to defend herself and catches even more trouble for that. Her douchebag boyfriend knocks her down and kicks her in the face. True love with this guy. They have three kids together, too; Columbia.


29203
A guy tells cops that he left his bicycle outside the public library -- you know, where the bums hang out? -- and it got stolen. My bike got stolen this week, too, but I at least had the common sense to leave it unattended in, well, Five Points at 3 a.m.. Not sure which one of us is the bigger dumbass; Assembly Street.

29212
You want to know how bad the health care problem is? Mothers are trying to get fake prescriptions of freakin’ Amoxicillin now. Yeah, seriously, they’re going into the drug store to try and fill phony prescriptions for antibiotics. That’s what cops say a 43-year-old woman did when she tried to obtain the stuff for her two children. “Obtaining drugs by fraud” -- that’s the charge she’s getting. I’ll tell you something, that gets zippo street cred, I don’t care where you’re from; 150 block Harbison Blvd.

29201
A 23-year-old man is punched in the head by a 20-year-old dude who also tries to go through his pants pockets. A witness yells out for the mugger to stop, and he runs...right by a cop, who busts his ass for strong-armed robbery; 1700 block Barnwell Street.

29201
Cops this week are saying an unknown person busted into an Assembly Street store to steal the cash register with $200 in it. But the thirsty thief obviously wasn’t done; he had to nab several bottles of soda on his way out. Store managers say they have surveillance footage of the carbonated caper and will try and give it to police; 160 block Assembly Street.

Comments

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Chip   |2008-06-30 12:00:12 Justice Jean Toal shouldn't even be allowed to get within 10 feet of a car not to mention her law bench they screwed up when they let her pass the bar!!! Reply | Quote 1   0

Jessica   |2008-07-02 14:13:46 Damn straight and watch it when you're walking, she may move to vehicular assaults soon. Reply | Quote 0   0

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