Dear hot Publix cashier,
    OK, I’ll level with you. I don’t really need all this stuff. In truth, most of it is just a smokescreen to hide my primary purchase: this roll of Angel Soft double ply. But, it would be weird if I just came in and bought that, like maybe I was having a major intestinal emergency and raced down here in desperation. Huh? Oh no, I can hold it. If it were a real emergency, I’d just grab some used fast food napkins out of the trash at home.
    So, now that we’ve cleared that up, what are you doing for dinner?
    Columbia City Paper

Dear Microsoft Excel paperclip help icon,
    Very funny, you little jerk. Go ahead and knock impatiently on the monitor and leave me hanging out here looking like an idiot in front of my colleagues. You know this spread sheet is due in the finance meeting in ten minutes and here you are bouncing around and tapping your metal appendage impatiently. As if it’s my fault! God, that it so like you! Like the time you rolled your eyes and smirked when I couldn’t find the table specs to do that mail merge. And when you finally do offer some advice, in typical IT guy fashion, you wink and act all smug and hop on your little animated scooter and drive off.
    Oh great, here comes my boss! And you’re just gonna wiggle your eyebrows and gyrate, now? Wonderful. Yeah, dance it up, jackass. And thanks again for nothing!
    Columbia City Paper


    Dear north Georgia Sasquatch
community,
    That was a close one. For a moment, we thought they’d finally caught one of you. Doubtless, members of your clan happened to peer through the windows of a remote cabin, viewed the image on TV and howled in grief-stricken rage. In a primitive act of revenge, maybe one of you even hoisted a large boulder above your head and hurled it toward a group of hikers on a slope far below. It’s certainly understandable.
    Well, that horrible joke at your expense may not have turned out to be a real Sasquatch, but the hoax proved another thing: What’s scarier than the thought of a giant man-ape stalking the deep woods? A prick off-duty cop with a video camera and access to YouTube.
    Columbia City Paper

Write comment
Name:
Email:	do not notifynotify
Website:
Title:
UBBCode:	-color-aquablackbluefuchsiagraygreenlimemaroonnavyolivepurpleredsilvertealwhiteyellow -size-tinysmallmediumlargehuge
	Please input the anti-spam code that you can read in the image.

3.25 Copyright (C) 2007 Alain Georgette / Copyright (C) 2006 Frantisek Hliva. All rights reserved."