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King David, Eh?
Written by Jaroslav Dampfstain   
Saturday, 27 June 2009
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David failed, literally, and yet he reconstructed his life, put it back together and became a guy who was after God's spirit. So I would say I'm on the larger voyage."

-King Marshall of South Carolina

Ode to a Gubernatorial Megalomaniac:  King David, Eh?

by Jaroslav Dampfstain

(on behalf of Yahweh’s prophets Samuel and Nathan, to the Luv Guv)

II Samuel 12:11-19

11 Thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will raise up evil against thee out of thine own house, and I will take thy wives before thine eyes, and give them unto thy neighbor, and he shall lie with thy wives in the sight of this sun.

12 For thou didst it secretly: but I will do this thing before all Israel, and before the sun.

13 And David said unto Nathan, I have sinned against the LORD. And Nathan said unto David, The LORD also hath put away thy sin; thou shalt not die.

14 Howbeit, because by this deed thou hast given great occasion to the enemies of the LORD to blaspheme, the child also that is born unto thee shall surely die.

15 And Nathan departed unto his house. And the LORD struck the child that Uriah's wife bare unto David, and it was very sick.

16 David therefore besought God for the child; and David fasted, and went in, and lay all night upon the earth.

17 And the elders of his house arose, and went to him, to raise him up from the earth: but he would not, neither did he eat bread with them.

18 And it came to pass on the seventh day, that the child died. And the servants of David feared to tell him that the child was dead: for they said, Behold, while the child was yet alive, we spake unto him, and he would not hearken unto our voice: how will he then vex himself, if we tell him that the child is dead?

19 But when David saw that his servants whispered, David perceived that the child was dead: therefore David said unto his servants, Is the child dead? And they said, He is dead.

[King James Version]

The Book of Jaroslav

Chapter 1.  Verse 1.  Dearest King Marshall, aren’t thee sickest of thine own ego, yet?

Verse 2.  Yahweh art so!  As art the Palmetto State!

Verse 3.  Thine hubris art not attractive!

 

 
Get Your Gubernatorial Prick out of my Face!
Written by Jaroslav Dampfstain   
Wednesday, 24 June 2009
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“I’ve spent the last five days of my life crying in Argentina.”

The Luv Guv

 

Don't cry for me, South Carolina!

The truth is I never left thee!

Okay, perhaps I did,

There goes my 2012 bid;

I kept her panties,

Now keep your distance.

 

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The Bitch is Back in Black (Stilettos): A Theater Powwow with Scott Blanks
Written by S.M. Baleen   
Wednesday, 24 June 2009
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scott_for_net.jpg
 
Thespian Scott Blanks is a “raconteur de force.”  Animated and gregarious, capable of great warmth and dagger-like seriousness, an interview with the Columbia theater veteran is a conversation-gesticulation roller coaster.  I’d say “strap yourself in,” but given that Blanks is about to star as Dr. Frank-N-Furter in “The Rocky Horror Show” at Trustus Theatre for the fifth time, I’ll venture a “strap yourself (or something else) on.”
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"Rocky Horror" at Trustus: A Sure-Fire "Shocker"
Written by S.M. Baleen   
Monday, 22 June 2009
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 rocky_horror_i.jpg

 

At its heart, “The Rocky Horror Show” is the story of Adam and Eve from the serpent’s perspective.  And, as everyone knows, Satan loves a scintillating lounge act.

 

A voluptuous Eve tastes the forbidden fruit of an alien transvestite in platform heel boots whilst a wheelchair-bound closet Nazi scientist plinks away at a baby grand like a drooling, nonagenarian Liberace.  In the words of George Gershwin, “Who could ask for anything more?”

 

With this fifth incarnation of “Rocky Horror” at Trustus Theatre, some purists might cry foul, but an entire new generation of fans of the cult classic is likely to emerge.  This production is the artistic amalgam of Hansel and Gretel and “Natural Born Killers.”  Director Chad Henderson (“Dog Sees God,” “The Lieutenant of Inishmore”) has traded in the familiar, David Bowie glam starship (now clearly a space clunker) for a stylized, 21st-century sexual intergalactic Bayliner.  And with the exception of a few technical glitches (wake up, sound techies!), this bitch flies.

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POSTLOCAL.COM
Written by Paul F. Blake   
Saturday, 07 February 2009
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